Posts from the ‘I’m awkward’ category

On being kicked when I’m down

Something really pissed me off a few days ago. Hot damn, was I mad. After weeks of repeated failures, I was trying once again to master…

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Friday Challenge: Tales from the worst job I’ve ever had

For tonight’s post, I issued myself a challenge: Readers suggest and vote on topics, and I have 60 minutes to write on the winning suggestion. The…

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Me and a frog

As I sit down to write this post, I have exactly 41 minutes left to hit “Publish” and make today’s deadline for the 30-day Blogathon. And…

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Fear the bunk beds and quicksand

When I was a kid, my mother employed a highly effective behavior modification technique in order to keep me in line while out in public. It…

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Fat chick does Crossfit

There are videos. They exist in an bizarre alternate universe known as YouTube and in them, a fat lady with my face is hip hop clogging…

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Three inches of cultural conformity. Kind of.

Impulsive. And ill-prepared. These two states of being are my status quo and therefore, quite naturally, the pretext by which I found myself hurtling through the…

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Floors sell hous – Oooooooh! SHINY!

Me: The lady on Jeopardy has really shiny hair. Nick: You think so? Me: Mm-hm. I want a counter like that. All black and gleamy. Is…

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And since when are we supposed to WEAR cocoa and waffles?

This evening I finally sat down and flipped through some of the fashion catalogs that have been hurling themselves at my house like possessed, obsessive-compulsive Hogwarts…

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Dear Smelly Chair: It’s not me, it’s you.

Dear Smelly Chair: It’s hard to believe it’s been five years already. I remember when we first met… I’d seen you so many times, passed you…

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I have been to Football; it is a dark and scary place.

My husband is a Buffalo Bills fan. Thank you for your condolences. From August through sometime in late fall or early winter (whenever the last  hopes…

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