Archive for ‘June, 2012’

Ninja haiku bombs of awesomeness… An interactive post

NOTE: Hey, did you know I’m giving away Amazon gift cards??? See my previous post and be sure to leave your comment on THAT post in…

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Happy almost-birthday to me. This shit sucks.

Tomorrow, I turn 34. This birthday feels a little different from the others. Thirty was supposed to be the big one; I spent that year watching…

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The key to getting your kids to eat asparagus. And not become serial killers.

I am deadly serious about mommyhood. Mostly because Crime TV tells me that if I screw it up, one of these little people will eventually kill…

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I am easily outwitted by vandalized Magic Eraser boxes and hip bathroom doors

You know what’s never a good sign? When you have slept so little, and your days have run together so completely, that you resort to checking…

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I bet kangaroos NEVER lose silly bands in their vaginas.

I love Google. This is not news to anyone who knows me; a major reason I love having an internet-enabled phone is that I can Google…

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Is it “Vagina banned” or “Vagina band”? I’m so confused.

When the kids and I were coming home after Aidan’s gymnastics class today, we passed an alarmingly-shaped tarp bundle on the side of the road. It…

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It’s not useless cursing, it’s MATH, and it just may save your life.

I was reflecting on the things I’ve written in the last few days, including the pieces I’ve posted here, and noticed something. I swear a lot.…

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I’m on the Twitter, screaming at myself

There are rules for creating a successful blog. Entire websites are dedicated to it, and Barnes and Noble has a whole shelf of books with titles…

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I am 40% sure this dog will not eat my flesh or take part in the apocalypse

I do not have a miniature schnauzer. Except that I do. She’s right next to me. She keeps my feet warm. I call her Not-Lulu. This…

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The interspecies truth about Mars and Venus. But mostly Mars.

Every Spring, a pair of robins make a nest in an odd, completely pointless J-shaped metal ledge on the underside of our front door awning. The…

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