I was minding my own business last night, sitting in the yard, when some sort of flying insect – no, I don’t know what – flew right into my ear canal.
I have one of these kids who obsesses over every minute possibility and unlikely outcome, to a degree that sometimes make daily life very difficult. So even though I was screaming and running in circles on the inside, on the outside I was a monotone, “Nick, there’sabuginmyearthere’sabuginmyearthere’sabuginmyear,” while walking very, very quickly into the house. Nick said, “Do you want me to come put water or something in your ear?” Me: “Yesthere’sabuginmyearthere’sabuginmyearyespleasenowthere’sabuginmyear.”
We flushed with rubbing alcohol, water, peroxide and olive oil. I’m pretty sure the rubbing alcohol and peroxide were bad ideas.
The bug never came out.
At this point I’d also had dough rising in the oven for over an hour. Since I’d made and kneaded this dough, and it’s no small effort to knead dough intended for four loaves of bread, I wasn’t about to abandon it. So, with a bug in my ear, I punched down my dough, formed it into loaves, and put them in their pans for a second rise.
We resumed flushing. Still nothing.
I set the oven to pre-heat and sat with my head tipped sideways while Nick squirted olive oil in my ear again and my hands googled other ways to get dead bugs out of one’s ear.
This is when we heard the loud bang from the kitchen. In I ran, head tilted to the side, olive oil dripping down my neck, four loaves of bread ready to be baked sitting on the counter, only to find that, for no reason at all, my oven door had fallen off. Only on one side, but still.
It took close to an hour to get the oven door back on. Which I did with a dead bug and olive oil in my ear. I preheated again and put my loaves in to bake.
By this time it was 10:00 or so, and Urgent Care was closed. Faced with the possibility of ER or sleeping with a dead bug in my ear, I chose sleeping with the bug in my ear. That’s how much I hate ERs.
This morning I woke to the birds chirping, the smell of my freshly baked bread all through the house, the sun shining. And a dead bug, still in my ear.
Urgent Care opens shortly. Urgent Care opens shortly. I will not go insane before then.